Reflecting on One Year of Change: From Constraints to Clarity to Control
Lake Michigan and Chicago from Promontory Point in Hyde Park, Chicago | Image by Joel Worthington
Change is hard | Our family arriving in Pittsburgh (don’t worry - he just didn’t want to take a selfie and was excited three seconds later)
As I reflect on one year of JW Collaborative, I can’t help but return to the original, unique, and personal circumstances and constraints that set the wheels in motion for necessary change in my life. My wife, Rebeca, was enduring intense and highly variable hours as an internal medicine resident which caused her to be away from home more than either of us preferred. Our son was 15 months old, adorable, and newly walking. We had reliable childcare but limited access to family as a secondary option, let alone a support system, nearby (FaceTime helps!). We also knew we had a major, albeit ambiguous, life transition around the corner as Rebeca would be interviewing for fellowships for her next step in medicine. Professionally, I was content enough, but many members of the team I had been a part of for years, my work family, had recently disbanded to pursue other opportunities. While none of these constraints are necessarily unique unto themselves, I’ve found them to be collectively unique and therefore difficult for even the most empathetic listener to provide precedent, advice, or support. To be clear, I’m not complaining, just naming. And, as any good designer knows, constraints fuel problem solving and are essential for driving innovative solutions.
Furthermore, a little over a year ago, a new constraint was added: my role and remaining team had been eliminated due to lack of work in the marketplace (and misaligned objectives). Again, don’t feel bad for me – it’s just context. The truth is, for the first time in my privileged professional life, I was holding on to a job because it was a healthy status quo, rather than the dream scenario and team I came for in the first place five years prior. It had evolved into something that was actually too good to be true – a leadership position I helped design (but no one asked for) that more than paid the bills; I didn’t need to travel as much anymore (effectively making myself overhead) which allowed me to be home more for my family; and the hours and workload were contained and manageable. It’s hard to argue that I should’ve been doing something else on my own accord.
The reality is that, over the years, I had already personally redefined what it meant to work, to live, and to love. On paper, the job I had enabled me to meet most of my criteria – do purposeful work, be present at home, control my time, etc. But, when you’re working to check someone else’s boxes, you’ll never check all, or at least most, of your own, especially the big professional ones related to purpose and fulfillment. Don’t get me wrong though, I worked with many amazing people who I deeply miss, but, as those with whom I shared the most purpose moved on, I started to lose my own clarity in order to fit into larger organizational needs and maintain that aforementioned status quo. My purpose didn’t align with my remaining colleagues’ purpose, and that’s okay. So, losing a job that didn’t check many of my real boxes was a blessing in disguise that created a set of circumstances that I had been dreaming about for a while but was too scared to make happen on my own. Some people jump; I was pushed…and I leaned into it. When the time came, I was ready.
There are four key things I’ve learned about myself and being a solopreneur since then, which, if you’re considering or facing a bold move, I hope might help you.
Fostering personal resilience over many years and anchoring in values ensured that I always felt confident in where I was headed and that I would keep going toward my vision and goals. The thing about abrupt uncertainty is that it’s out of your control. What is in your control is what you do next. And what you do next is highly dependent on your lived experience, current life circumstances, values, and whether you have already established your own vision and goals. Thankfully, my upbringing, internal locus of control, overcoming of previous hardships, sense of self, and support system positioned me well. I was honest and transparent about the circumstances, and that approach laid a foundation of trust as I built upon relationships that already existed and fostered new ones. Gritting it out with confidence in my vision helped me land my first big contract after many months, and it helped me navigate abrupt uncertainty once again when the pandemic hit (yet another new and nearly impossible constraint that requires its own novella!) and delayed that very same contract.
Orthodoxies are always in the way of creating significant, desired change, so, when they were broken for me, I took advantage. I never took the leap on my own because I didn’t think I (nor my family) could go two weeks without receiving a paycheck. It was a mindset thing, not a financial thing. In fact, given our personal situation - in particular, the uncertainty around where we would be living in less than a year – finding a full-time job in Chicago wasn’t ideal. So, I shifted my mindset to that of an entrepreneur with a focus on agility and acting boldly. I recognized quickly that I was no longer constrained by having to fit my human-centered design strategy and systems thinking service offering into an architecture or engineering project. I already had a comprehensive offering thanks to years of experience in the field and many months, if not years, of mulling this scenario. Having been a health system administrator and strategist before adding design methods to my portfolio meant that I had an immediate target market for my services. And, with the addition of my newer design and other cross-disciplinary friends, I realized that I had a large network of potential collaborators that transcended the boundaries of a traditional organizational structure. So, when the push came, I was never between jobs – setting out on my own, with a vision to activate change with human-centered systems design for those who needed it the most, was already it.
Replacing professionalism with authenticity is essential for facilitating change. Professionalism for the sake of professionalism, namely the premise that you don’t discuss topics that are taboo or provide overly vulnerable information about yourself, has always bothered me even though I generally practice it. As someone interested in challenging the status quo and creating necessary change for people who need it the most, I now see professionalism through that lens – a set of historically agreed upon decorum rules that keep broken systems moving in an antiquated direction that serves only the most select few. My own lived experiences, both personally and professionally, have catalyzed introspection through honest reflection, which has begotten growth and candor in communication and relationships. As I reached out to my network to seek advice, gain collaborators, and pursue clients, I was often vulnerable and transparent, which had its risks, and still does, but I figure I’d rather work with people who appreciate it and vice versa. And, at the end of the day, this level of honoring reality is essential for getting to the heart of problem solving and helping clients address their true needs. Play the game, then change the rules.
Freedom is controlling my own time, but time also controls me. One of the biggest factors that drove me to setting off on my own, was seeking the ability to decide how I use my time and providing myself the necessary flexibility to manage our complicated personal/professional configuration and now completed transition (hello from Pittsburgh where we landed for my wife’s fellowship!). That has absolutely proven to be an ongoing, necessary outcome of owning my own business. But, when you’re an army of one, and I was warned about this by advisors who went there before me, you have to do everything. And I mean everything. Website. Social media. Business development. CRM. Proposal writing. Client presentations. Email campaigns. Content creation. Thought leadership. IT. Purchasing. Blogging. Contract review. Financials. Consulting with legal and accounting. Etc. Etc. It’s exciting, it’s empowering, and it’s incredibly time-consuming. I have to be brutally honest with myself about what I can accomplish in any given day, week, month, or quarter. And, when I check back in with my values, my responsibilities at home and my own personal well-being also drive how I want and need to spend my time. So, that only leaves so many hours in the day. Ownership enables me to decide how best to achieve my ideal schedule, but, at the same time, it creates new challenges that make every day a juggling act.
In year one, I focused on building the foundation while enduring two major rounds of abrupt uncertainty: 1) transitioning from job change to new business, and 2) navigating the implications of the pandemic while also getting ready to move. This meant my focus was on setting off on my own to serve my needs within my constraints, connecting broadly with my network, accomplishing my immediate goals, growing personally and professionally, and ensuring that my family was secure, safe, and ready for the next transition.
For year two, I look forward to leveraging that foundation to serve clients’ needs within their constraints, helping them accomplish their goals, and positioning them to grow as organizations navigating how to best serve their customers safely, equitably, and resiliently.
To discuss or learn more, email Joel directly at joel@jwcollaborative.com or see jwcollaborative.com.